At the end of June 2001 I went to the doctors having injured my left shoulder. Little did I know that day was to change my life completely forever. While there a asked an unrelated question re a very small sore area between my breasts........

After a visit to the breast clinic at the beginning of July and 4 biopsies later I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. A rare form that is difficult to detect i.e. no lump but just infected tissue.

What a confusion of thoughts, Here are just a few of them:- fear, anger, isolation, why me, what have I done, am I going to die.

I was never alone, there was always help on hand.

Many thanks to Christies and Trafford General for their care.

This is me 23/08/01 wearing my wig

I underwent 6 sessions of chemotherapy at three week intervals.

01/11/01 These are me also wearing my blonde wig, short wig and my short curly wig.

 Below a pic of me with not much left of my own hair........................

I was in hospital from 13th Dec to the 23rd Dec 2001. for radical surgery.

23/12/01 Back home, recovering from surgery, waiting  for Radium treatment.

29/03/02 Now recovering from radium treatment and keeping my fingers (& toes) crossed.

This part of my life will pass and will NOT beat me.

I remain positive & have set myself many goals.

I am now suffering from Clinical depression and Chronic fatigue but living my days to the best of my ability and within the restrictions that this fatigue allows. 

One step at a time...

Today I am a very different person , less materialistic than I ever was, appreciate life and say a "thank you" very day for being here to see it.

Please do feel free to email me on maggi.fretwell@virgin.net I am happy to answer any questions and if I can be of help to even just one person.............

One of my goals is to see all my grandchildren grow up and have children of their own.

A message I have received, Many thanks Kitty

Maggi
      You have had a very busy time and have gotten great joy from all you do.  Not many people can say any of that.  I just found your web site and think it is great.  You can really write what is in life from your heart.   Just wanted to say hello and will drop in again.
      thank you for a lovely uplifting for my weary day.
 good pictures!

. * .   ***    . * .
.  * (\ (_) /) *  .	a little angel to watch over me today.
. * . (_/ ll\_) . * .	Many thanks Virginia from the USA for sending her to me
.* .   /___\  . * .
* .. *
I Received an email on 16/03/04 as follows:-    " I love your web site which I just came across" And with this short verse:- "The past we can not change Today is what we live for Tomorrow is the future"
It has made me think of "My Today" and to reflect on my recent yesterdays. My fatigue continues but I am now coming to terms with it. I have spent times battling against it and have not done myself any favours. I attend Christies every 3 months and the prognosis is good. I also spend time at the Neil Cliff Cancer Centre and have learned so very much and the support I have received from them all has been tremendous. There have been setbacks along the way, a week in hospital with pneumonia, everyone else got a cold but I had to go the whole way and make a proper job of it.( impaired  immune system re the Chemo ) Also had a fall at home and broke 2 ribs (a dizzy do re cancer drugs side effects). I am waiting to see a specialist as I  have a damaged nerve in my back, not cancer related I am pleased to report.  Its funny that life goes on...... I am coming to terms with the physical changes in my body, not all down to cancer, I think some of it is Old Age lol. My hair is now back and people tell me I look so well. It is harder to come to terms mentally, people don't understand, they see only the superficial and don't understand how I am feeling inside. They don't know how hard it is for me but in a way that is is not actually a bad thing (I look well, I act well and therefore I CAN be well) but I do think that family and friends sometimes  expect too much from me. As time goes on it is harder to talk and when people ask "how are you" it is easier to say "fine thanks" and leave it at that. Having said all that, I am so happy to be alive and do count my blessings. My daughter Anne is expecting her 4th baby in 3 weeks time, I am hoping to be at the birth and lots of future birthdays to come.
I spend my days according to how I feel. I spend as much time with my children and grandchildren as I can and try to pace myself. I DO live for TODAY  and the future.................